


Cookies and Some Other Stuff

by calabazitalinda



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, hoo boy, im not too confident about this, just read it i guess once again im sorry if its awful, pues! sea lo que sea, sliiight abuse tw maybe, the flow is kind of weird and idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 02:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12098325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calabazitalinda/pseuds/calabazitalinda
Summary: Carmilla learns that good things always come eventually.





	Cookies and Some Other Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> eye am. not sure if i like this woop dee do  
> bare in mind that the only editing this has experienced is me looking over it once or twice  
> honestly the way it all came together is kind of weird so bare that in mind- also im bad at writing Long Things wooah buddy  
> anyways enjoy

 

You growled furiously, grasping at your knees and shoving yourself further under the desk. The muffled voices of your teacher and classmates surrounding you as you press your face into the crevice between both of your knees, eyes stinging and throat sore. It wasn't _your_ fault that your stupid cousin had made Elsie cry, he was a huge jerk-face and didn't know how to be nice to people. He shouldn't say mean stuff to her, anyways. He deserved a punch in the face, he was lucky all you did was shove him until he stumbled.

_Lucky_ wasn't how your teacher would describe it though, in fact, she had described it as _unacceptable_. You had stayed quiet as she reprimanded you, trying to look properly chastised although you really couldn't have cared less. You didn’t bother defending yourself, William always got whatever he wanted.

You were fine until she’d told you to go sit in a corner and you _refused_ because that’s what your Mother made you do, and school was about 10% better than home, and you didn’t want that improvement to be taken away, so you ran. Ran and hid under Wilson Kirsch’s desk, not that he cared.

And so you sat there, crying into your knees and waiting until someone inevitably threatened to call Mother.

Minutes that felt like hours passed by until you heard nothing and you dared to look up, wondering if they’d gone.

There was no one in front or to the right of the desk, but then you heard scuffling to your left and turned and found Laura Hollis staring at you with a cookie that was threatening to break in half clutched in her hand.

“They all left for recess. The teacher said that maybe you needed some time alone, but you can’t miss _snack_ even if you never bring anything, so I thought-“  She stops her ramble when she sees you staring at her, and takes in a deep breath.

 “I saw what happened,” She says nodding earnestly and thrusting her hand out, offering the cookie to you. “I think it was an _injustin_ , what she told you to do.”

You eyed the cookie before looking back up at Laura and shrugging, taking it between your fingers. “It’s called an _injustice_.” Was all that you said and she frowned and nodded thoughtfully, fully taking the words to heart.

“My name’s Laura, by the way.” Laura said proudly, stretching her hand out as if you didn’t already know. “I’m 7 and a half, and I can do a _real_ cartwheel.”

You pursed your lips before sighing, taking her hand and shaking it gently. “I’m Carmilla, and I’m already 8 and I don’t know anything about gymnastics.”

The smile she gave you was almost blinding and she nodded, turning back to her own cookie.

You ate in silence until Laura said something about her dad always packing two cookies for her, so you both could share if you wanted, and you didn’t reply, but you smiled at her.

From then on you didn’t spend many recesses alone.

* * *

 

Mother forgot your 13th birthday, just as she’d forgotten your 12th. . You didn’t really care last year, because you had Mattie and she bought you a cake and let you eat half of it all by yourself, but this year Mattie was in college doing grown-up stuff and she didn’t have time to come all the way back to make sure you weren’t lonely on your birthday.

It wouldn’t have been too bad, you didn’t mind being alone, but then you’d gone and made Mother angry.

Now you were locked in a closet and you let the tears roll down your cheeks because why did it matter, no one could see you.

You waited there for a few hours until Mother let you out, making you apologize to her before letting you go with a taut _Mircalla, you need to learn to behave_. Your house was impossibly big, your mother impossibly wealthy, and yet you felt like the walls were caving in on you every single time after you spent a while shoved into that dark space.

You immediately fled to your room, burying your face in your pillow and willing the pounding in your ears to go away.

You wanted to forget that it was your birthday because that was such a _petty_ thing to be upset about but you couldn’t, and it hurt that you were 13 years old and convinced that no one liked you enough to remember.

But then you hear a knocking at the front door and you’re rushing down the stairs because for some reason you want to hope it’s for you.

And it is, and when you open it you see Laura, and she’s holding a cookie in one hand and a card with a bat wearing a party hat sloppily drawn on it in the other, and she’s smiling the same blinding smile she gave you the day you met.

“You told me your birthday was on the day before Halloween,” She says by way of explanation, and you notice that the cookie is decorated with brown and orange frosting and had orange and black sprinkles on top and you think she may be the best person ever to exist.

You stay silent for a moment and she shifts on the balls of her feet, the arm holding out the cookie to you never faltering.

“I’m a year older than you again,” You say finally, giving her a smirk and taking the cookie from her hand.

“Half a year, jerk!” She says, slapping you on your arm, but she’s smiling and laughing and she invites you to go over to her house because her dad is waiting outside and you tell her you had nothing else to do so why shouldn’t you.

You think you both know that even if you did, you would have gone with her in a heartbeat.

* * *

 

You’re 17 and heartbroken when you realize that you are, in fact, in love with Laura.

You’re sitting with your back to her door and your head in your knees and you don’t bother knocking, because you don’t know if you’d want her to see you like this in the first place.

You think that Ell broke you beyond repair. You think you’re getting too big for the stuffy closet Mother had forced you in when she caught you. You think you’d never seen her angrier.

It hadn’t been your idea to steal your mother’s shit. But Ell, shy and soft on the outside, _loved_ to push you.

You’d known what would happen if you stole wine from your mother, but Ell saw it as romantic, and you would have done anything for her.

And when you were caught and you were being screamed at, being told what a fucking deadbeat you were, how she knew you were going to end up like this, you’d hoped that after all this you would still have Ell.

Ell was a thunderstorm in the guise of a sunny day and you’d made the stupid decision of not thinking to bring an umbrella. She broke your heart in a way that left you dumbfounded and in turn you told her to go fuck herself and ran away.

It was messy, painful, and you had been planning to run away with her. To leave this town and your other behind and never look back.

Except there was Laura. Laura who’d always been the cause of so many fights between you and Ell because _please she so_ obviously _has feelings for you._

Maybe it was better like this. You couldn’t stomach the thought of leaving Laura behind. Still, it felt like someone had punched you in the gut.

You were completely lost in thought when the door that you were sitting against slowly creaked open, causing you to jump up and slowly wipe at the tear tracks that were undoubtedly on your face.

You turn around and there was Laura and she looks so concerned and so lovely and you feel your body moving towards her and you grab her, pulling her in and sobbing against her shoulder.

She gasps softly before wrapping her arms around you in turn, and you both stand there for a few minutes, you clinging tightly to her back and crying quietly.

After a little while she softly pushes you back, her arms never leaving your shoulders, and asks you if you’d like to come inside, and you just nod slightly, unsure of whether or not you could actually speak.

When you don’t move she grabs your arm and tugs you to the small couch in her living room, and you sit there with her, laying your head on her shoulder and closing your eyes.

You’re close to dozing off while her hands softly stroke your hair when it hits you that Ell was right in a way, and the thought terrifies you so much that you are suddenly wide awake.

You think you’ve felt this way for a while now, maybe even since you were 8 years old and hiding from your teacher.

Laura notices of course, and she tightens her hold on you which is _not_ helping, but you can’t help but sink back into her.

And as you fall asleep you think that you cannot lose Laura because of this, that she is your best friend and that your sudden revelation needs to be kept under wraps.

Because you are in love with Laura Hollis, and when you love something it always goes wrong.

In the morning, you wake up alone. There’s a cookie placed on the table in front of you.

* * *

 

Laura is like the sun, you think, which is entirely too cliché but it’s so true.

She is brilliant and stunning and if you stare too long you could end up being blinded by her light.

And if she is the sun then you are the moon, entirely dependent on the way she shines. You have been for a while now, but you haven’t realized it.

You’ve been focused on yourself and wallowing in your self-pity and hatred and you hadn’t realized that the world didn’t revolve around you like it did Laura.

* * *

 

Laura, age 21, gets her first _serious_ girlfriend. And she calls _you_ the ladykiller.

You’ve never been a jealous person. You’ve handled all of Laura’s girlfriends with a substantial amount of amiability, though you could see why none of them really understood why Laura would hang out with the leather-clad, no-good likes of you. You kind of shared their confusion. The kind of girls that Laura dated were nothing like you (Not that you’d been comparing yourself), all of them bubbly and supportive and so _good_ that while you did your best to keep it from effecting you, it did hurt a little bit. But for the most part, you were great at playing the part of childhood best friend.

Until Danny came around.

Danny was tall and ginger and played any and every sport you could think of and you hated her.

Maybe it was because Laura seemed so much more into her than she was the other girls, or maybe it was because she was so blatant about disliking you.

You were nice at first, but she took one look at you and decided you were no good for Laura. She never said it out loud, but you knew she thought it, and you knew that she wished Laura would soon realize that.

(Sometimes you liked to entertain the idea that she was wrong.)

You refused to let Danny be the one who caused you and Laura to drift apart so whenever she was around, you made sure to be extra affectionate.

She would walk in and be greeted by you with your hand slung over Laura’s shoulder, or she would be watching a movie with Laura snuggled up beside her and you would lay your head on Laura’s arm. You took pride in the small victories, and you knew your friendship with Laura was getting on her nerves. It was delightful.

And maybe be just a bit petty, but who cared really? Laura hadn’t seemed to notice.

Besides, you couldn’t be over at Laura’s apartment all the time, so you were sure there were times where Danny was blissfully without your obnoxious presence.

 Unfortunately, it eventually reached a breaking point.

Laura had invited you over to make cookies, and failed to mention the fact that the world’s biggest carrot on stilts would also be attending.

You were mad.

And kind of really sad, but then again, you couldn’t show either because Laura did not need to know that it affected you this much.

It’s just that, cookies were _your_ thing with Laura.

You almost slapped yourself for being so damn sensitive.

Danny was Laura’s girlfriend. You knew this. Of course she’d want to make cookies with her girlfriend. Totally reasonable and not a stab to the chest.

You swallow hard when Laura taps your shoulder and look over to her, trying to look relaxed.

“Carm, you okay? You’ve been like, pretty much silent this entire time.”

You smile stiffly and nod. “Yeah, cupcake. Don’t worry your pretty little head.”

You look over Laura’s shoulder and see Danny give you a glare for the _pretty head_ comment, and your smirk grows impossibly wide.

Laura, bless her, is still completely oblivious, and still giving you a concerned look.

“You wanna lick the cookie dough off the spoon?” She says, shoving the spoon at you and you can’t help but smile.

“Nah, creampuff, that’s always been your job.” You try not to put too much emphasis on _always,_ but you couldn’t help but flaunt the fact that she’d done this with you enough for there to be an _always._ You also tried not to notice how adorable Laura looks when she smiles at you and sticks the spoon in her mouth.

You were so screwed.

You were lost in how incredibly fucked you were and didn’t see Laura look between you and Danny, obviously scheming.

Suddenly she piped up, practically banging the wooden spoon on the counter and smiling wide. “You know, I think I’m gonna place these puppies in the oven, Carm, you and Danny can go wait by the couch and get to know each other a bit better!”

You were about to protest with something along the lines of _Don’t you need help with the oven, cupcake? Wouldn’t want you to burn yourself._ When she gives you “the face” and you know there’s no arguing.

So you try and stifle your grown and slump down onto the couch, Danny reluctantly following and sitting as far away from you as possible. Both of you lingered in silence for a bit as you wondered why it took so long to put a pan into an oven.

After about five minutes Danny turns to you, a scowl on her face. “I’m going to be honest. I don’t like you.”

You scoff. “Shame. Here I was, about to suggest a threesome.”

Her scowl deepened somehow. “Can you just say something normal for once?”

“You don’t know me. For all you know, I could say normal things all the time while you’re not around.”

Danny let out a frustrated groan, shooting up from the couch and walking away just as Laura began to enter. She paused to turn to Laura, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Laur, I like you, but sometimes I question the company you keep.” Was all she said before storming out, the door slamming behind her.

“Sheesh,” You muttered, leaning into the couch cushion.

“She has a point, in a way.” Laura sits next to you, obviously trying to contain her distress before continuing. “You could be a bit nicer, Carm. You know I like you the way you are but general apathy towards… everything doesn’t tend to give off the best vibe.”

“It’s not like she’s trying any harder.” Is all you say and when Laura shoots you a look you throw your hands up.  “The walking carrot stick decided from the moment she laid eyes on me I was bad news. I’m not going to try and be all buddy buddy towards someone who thinks I’m not good enough for my own fucking best friend.”

“I’m just saying Carm, you don’t have to be so _awful_ towards everyone all the time! Can you please just be a nice person.” You know she regrets it as soon as it’s out of her mouth but it doesn’t help the way your stomach sinks.

You shove yourself off the couch, beginning to stalk through the kitchen and to Laura’s front door, and halfway there you feel her hand on your shoulder.

“Carmilla. I didn’t mean it like that.”

You turned around stiffly, looking her in the eyes. “Then how did you mean it, cupcake?” You hated the way sarcasm dripped through your tone, as if Laura was some random person who’d made a shitty comment about you. This was _Laura_ , Laura who always shared her cookies with you, Laura with the smile that could take down a deity. And that made it hurt more, in a way.

When she didn’t respond you continued, removing her hand from her shoulder. “I know you’re tired of me constantly fucking up and being a horrible person, but that’s who I am. You can’t just nitpick all the bad stuff out and keep all the good. Relationships don’t work that way, Laura.”

With that you shove your way out of her apartment, the sound of your feet stomping down the metal stairs echoing through the hallway.

A sickeningly Laura-less week later, when Mattie tells you there’s something at the door, you find a cookie waiting with an apology scribbled on a note attached to it. You laugh because it should be _you_ apologizing to _her._

You know Laura could never be yours but she always comes back to you eventually.

* * *

 

When Laura turns 23, she says all she wants to do is watch dumb rom-coms with you for her birthday.

You ask, _“What about your gigantic girlfriend?”_ and she looks kind of far away, insisting that it just be the two of you.

You sure as hell aren’t complaining.

When you’re both curled up on her couch she tells you that she and Danny broke up. She doesn’t give you anything else and you let her fall into you, hold her as she grabs onto you as if you were about to drift away any second.

Both of you drift into a comfortable silence for a few hours, and when the movie ends she shifts to place her head on your shoulder and looks at you like you put oxygen into her lungs.

It’s overwhelming, and you kind of forget how to breathe.

But then she’s suddenly turning back to the end credits of the movie and scooching way too far away from you and you’re sure you imagined it.

Until she kisses you.

It’s sudden, fleeting, and perfect and for a few seconds you forget to question anything and melt into her, placing your hands on her shoulders and tugging her closer.

Then you remember that this isn’t possible and pull away, gasping slightly.

Laura eyes you dreamily for a second before immediately coming to her senses, her hands reaching to fiddle with her shirt sleeve as she began to ramble.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I- That was, I should’ve talked to you about it- You probably don’t even think of me like that and I’m so sorr-“

You cut her off with a deep kiss and she immediately grabs onto you rather frantically, letting out a mix between a sigh and a whimper.

When you (finally) break the kiss she’s breathing heavily and still trying to talk. “I broke up with, (gasp), Danny because, (gasp) I wanted to explore my feelings for you and-“

“Don’t exhaust yourself,” You say with a slight chuckle, brushing your thumb against her cheek.

She smiles softly at you and inches closer, ever so slightly, her nose brushing yours. ‘”Is the uh- the kissing an… okay thing?  To do?”

_Fuck yes,_ your brain screams, but you know you need to be rational and think about this. Laura just got out of a serious relationship, and no matter how deeply in love with her you were, you didn’t want to take advantage of her.

So you sigh slightly, leaning in and kissing her cheek slowly. “Of course, cutie. But you just broke up with Danny and I want to make sure this is what you want.”

She leans in and brushes her lips lightly against yours before nodding. “I, personally, think this is long overdue.”

* * *

 

For your first date, you go to a bakery and by her the fanciest cookie you could afford.

A month later when you tell her you love her, she says she’s been in love with you since 3rd grade.

**Author's Note:**

> FEEL FREE TO COMMENT i still dont know how end notes work


End file.
